Where's Ronaldinho? And More!

The smiling, buck-toothed one: still makes my heart flutter. See that golden curlicue signature on his shirt? I have some overpriced shinguards with that symbol scribbled on it. You know you've made it big when you get your own branded clothing, and/or you are the subject of over 100,000 Youtube montages.

Where in the world is two-time World Player of the Year Ronaldinho Gaucho? No, Ronaldinho has not pulled an Adriano (aka a Amir Zaki, aka a Mark Sanford) and temporarily vanished in a puff of purple smoke. But he's certainly not in South Africa, with the rest of his Brazilian teammates. He was left out of the squad. So what gives? It's not like he's over the hill-- he's still only 29. What has happened to the player that once set the world on fire?

Ronaldinho, like many of his Brazilian counterparts, seems to have some 'life style' issues. Benched and then shipped out of Barcelona for his slack application and hard-partying ways, last season he played only sporadically for AC Milan. Following a series of weak performances for Brazil, Brazil coach Dunga decided to give Ronaldinho some tough love by omitting him from the Confederations Cup roster.

"I would like him to come back, but whether he will come back I don't know... it depends more on him than me," Dunga said. (Guardian)

Frankly, I think the Confederations Cup is worse off for his absence-- of the other players at the tournament, only perhaps Robinho is as consistently electrifying as the great Buck-toothed One. And no one else plays with quite as much joy.

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While searching for pictures of Ronaldinho I came across this beautiful homage...

...wondering who's work it could be, I followed the link to discover a fantastic forum where someone named Black Death has catalogued some of the best stories from the past few years. There is too much good material to share all at once, but I felt obligated to highlight a choice few. The theme is "Samba Style" (aka dirty Brazilian):

• Ronaldinho is "romantically on fire", say Italian press. Months after hiring a helicopter to shower rose petals over the flat of his last girlfriend, the Brazilian has "stolen the heart" of Milan channel TV presenter and "high-class glamour model" Aline Domingos. Domingos told the press the stories are true. "Yes, Ronaldinho and I are going out. He's my Gaucho. But really, I am shy. I don't want to talk about it."

• Brazilian dancer Joana Machado says she's celebrating her "utter love" with Inter star Adriano by tattooing his name below her breasts. Machado says she wanted to be "branded". "Adriano owns me, owns my life: when he signs for Flamengo or Chelsea, I sign for them too." Adriano's agent Gilmar Rinaldi says Joana is "lacking comprehension". "Adriano is going nowhere: he stays at Inter. And he's dating someone else."

• Brazilian club Gremio say they "anticipate no obvious problems" from a new club policy of prescribing players Viagra ahead of high-altitude Copa Libertadores games. Club doctor Alarico Endres says the drug will improve blood oxygenisation. "The studies suggest it will give our boys a real edge for high-altitude games. The fuss about this is simply puerile: my studies show there will be no unseemly consequences."

-Alex D