The players and the animals they are joining
- For Kaka, Ronaldo, Raul Albiol, and now Karim Benzema ($50mil): a Liger*. Enormous and unnatural.
- For Gareth Barry and Roque Santa Cruz: a baby rhinoceros. You know it will one day be scary, but right now it's just sort of cute.
- For Antonio Valencia: an aging elephant that needs a kidney transplant but receives a "Get Well" card.
- For Yuri Zhirkov: the retirement home (Zhirkov, by the way, is a fantastic player)
- For poor Franck Ribery: a pet rock. I just wonder how long it is until Sepp Blather [sic] calls him a slave?
And then there are the the American upstarts*. Why has Jozy Altidore suddenly changed his tune from "I want to repay [Villarreal's] faith in me" to "I don't really want to go back to Villarreal"? It seems like Jozy is playing hard ball about playing time. His plantive cries put potential suitors on alert, placing pressure on Villarreal to seriously consider his place in the team. Here's the genius part: by having the article run on goal.com, Jozy can later deny the quotes.
Here are more transfers* from goal.com.
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